What did you do to your Jeep today? -Wrangler Edition-

Disclaimer: Links on this page pointing to Amazon, eBay and other sites may include affiliate code. If you click them and make a purchase, we may earn a small commission.

Johnny O

Just hangin' out.
Joined
Apr 29, 2021
Messages
2,509
Reaction score
3,438
Location
Bellevue NE
Got hit head on by unsecured furniture at 80mph on Interstate 80 yesterday.

I have said it before, and will say it again: Nebraskans are the worst drivers in the world. I knew it was going to fall out of the lowered, dual axel pick-up (covered in right-winger decals and other offensive some such), but could do nothing as was boxed in on all sides by folks that refuse to maintain spacing let alone pay attention to the road. There was nothing I could do but watch in horror as someone's moving day turned into a multi-vehicle accident from five car lengths behind. I was able to slow down and back off a bit more, but couldn't escape otherwise.
So, I did what I had to do which was to maintain speed and take it. Thou shalt not lock 'em up at speed: That gets people killed.

If you're bolting on anything other than an ARB bumper, you doin' it wrong. Beyond a slightly bent front license plate and a piece of particle board nailed to a rear tire, there was absolutely zero damage.
Not even a scratch.

Half of the dresser/desk/cabinet was thrown over the roof of the Rubicon and into the windshield of the Honda tailgating me. The other half was directed under the Jeep by the skid plates and ended up lodged in the radiator of said tailgater. Some of the drawers and doors, plus other things like end tables and lamps that were blown out of the truck ahead of me were deflected to the sides of the Jeep, folding in the side mirrors in the process, then proceeding on at high velocity to total the Dodge minivan to my left and the WRX to my right. The minivan driver panicked and caromed off my fender flares then back the other direction to sideswipe a U-Haul box truck. The WRX lost a hood, windshield and driver window; locked up the brakes and got rear-ended by another brodozer. I had to administer first aid for shock, cuts, contusions, and stabilize the WRX driver for a neck injury while waiting for emergency services to navigate through the now completely chocked up freeway. Thankfully, no serious injuries. My trauma kit is gonna need a seriously expensive re-stock. But driving karma people, driving karma.

The guilty party clearly saw what had happened and left the scene at high speed. All in all seven of nine (great start trek reference!) different vehicles ended up with damage.
Good news is, I had my dash cam running and got exceedingly clear video showing the dualie's plate AND the face of the driver in his side mirror once zoomed in. It was easier to just give the cops the memory card out of the camera than F around trying to download and send it later.
A shame, as was EPIC video! A literal explosion of wood and laminate plastics and dust and Khaaaan! just rolls on through unscathed!

Needless to say, nerves are shot. Frustrating that my scrambled software thrives on a nasty situation, then switches to the fear and panic it should have felt 24 hours prior. Hopefully The Filth catches the guilty party as he owes me a few hundred bucks worth of trauma kit refills, plus two IFAKs and a cervical collar...and I had to wipe his furniture smears off the ARB Bondi.
 

seafish

Full Access Member
Joined
Jan 10, 2024
Messages
235
Reaction score
320
SO much to dissect here, but the most important part is in the first paragraph —

I did what I had to do which was to maintain speed and take it. Thou shalt not lock 'em up at speed: That gets people killed.

and then the last —

Frustrating that my scrambled software thrives on a nasty situation, then switches to the fear and panic it should have felt

Maybe frustrating, but those reactions are EXACTLY what kept you from deeper, and even possibly fatal injuries!!! GREAT JOB!!!

The rest of the story just makes for an excellent action movie script…in fact sounds to me that you would make an very good stunt car driver if you ever get tired of your real job, ;)

Of course, I'm glad the Jeep came through relatively unscathed too!!!
 
Last edited:

Johnny O

Just hangin' out.
Joined
Apr 29, 2021
Messages
2,509
Reaction score
3,438
Location
Bellevue NE
Thanks. Still waiting for the ol' brain to slow back down and let me sleep. Been a long couple of sleepless nights.
 

Johnny O

Just hangin' out.
Joined
Apr 29, 2021
Messages
2,509
Reaction score
3,438
Location
Bellevue NE
Found more furniture parts in the undercarriage. Was informed truck bro was caught and arrested near Des Moines, Iowa yesterday.
Was also told everyone else is fine. WRX kid has minor whiplash and airbag rash. Got my cervical collar back and my insurance company will pay to replace the supplies in my trauma kit.

Gotta send a thank you note to ARB.
 

Johnny O

Just hangin' out.
Joined
Apr 29, 2021
Messages
2,509
Reaction score
3,438
Location
Bellevue NE
SO much to dissect here, but the most important part is in the first paragraph —



and then the last —



Maybe frustrating, but those reactions are EXACTLY what kept you from deeper, and even possibly fatal injuries!!! GREAT JOB!!!

The rest of the story just makes for an excellent action movie script…in fact sounds to me that you would make an very good stunt car driver if you ever get tired of your real job, ;)

Of course, I'm glad the Jeep came through relatively unscathed too!!!
Damned Navy training. Do what ya gotta do under pressure...cry about it later. LOL
 
Top